How many of you know what I mean by ‘that nagging feeling’? You know – the one that just creeps up on you and suddenly you start feeling as if your life has taken a wrong turn… I get this feeling sometimes. Often it is the first step on what I call an E-motional Pathway in the WRONG direction. You can choose to follow it and see where it goes, and sometimes it could lead you to a place that needs your attention, in which case – go there and do what needs to be done! But there are other times when it just leads to a place that drains your energy! The key is to learn how to test it and decide what it is before you go there.
I love the saying “where the focus goes – the energy flows”. What a perfect representation of fact! Let’s take a moment and MEMORIZE THIS! Say it with me –
Where the focus goes, the energy flows!
This is why that nagging feeling is so troublesome. It wants your FOCUS! It’s kind of like someone constantly tugging at your shirt as you are going along with your day. It wants your ATTENTION (focus) and will not stop until it is satisfied.
How can you stop it? Don’t you HAVE to attend to it? Is it wrong to just IGNORE it? Well, certainly I would not say ignoring it is the WRONG answer ALL of the time, but most often it IS what we will do automatically – try to ignore it – we just stop feeling (thinking about) it! A therapist would probably call this denial, right?
Feelings can direct your focus and what you focus on, can create how you feel! It works both ways. Here is where we run into problems and why ignoring feelings can create ‘Chronic Problematic Uncertainty’ in your life. (CPU – This sounds like something pharmaceutical companies would have you take one of their pills to cure, doesn’t it?!?!) If you ignore your feelings too often, you will be really confused on a regular basis. You will be feeling (thinking) all sorts of things and not really knowing why – This is what then becomes THAT NAGGING FEELING…
So to recap – ‘that nagging feeling’ is likely the result of unaddressed (denied) feelings, which now nag you for your attention, or shall I say focus! Everyone does it. We cannot possibly deal with ALL of our feelings ALL of the time. At one point I was an EXPERT in denial, and even now, I still have to keep my eye out for when I may be. I’m not sure it ever goes away for good! In fact in my opinion we must simply get good at using the faculty of being our own ‘Gatekeeper’ of our thoughts. The main reason why denial is such a common response to that nagging feeling is that our thoughts just happen when no one is guarding the gate! We don’t get to think what we want to think until we have achieved some mental discipline. We must be vigilant guardians at the gateways of our minds to keep out the unwanted thoughts (feelings) that will open the E-motional Pathways that lead in the wrong direction. WE must be THE GATEKEEPER! WE must steer our focus in the right direction to create the feelings we want to have and therefore the E-motions we want to experience.
I like to use metaphors when describing this kind of thing. When this happens to me, I try to dance with the feeling first, not resist it. That is to say, I will recognize it and take hold of it and move with it, but in a direction of MY choosing. If it continues to resist my direction and this doesn’t work to dispel it, then I can be certain that it is a place I need to visit to address some unexamined story or E-motion. This means I have some work to do here. It is a VERY CLEAR indicator and probably means that nagging feeling is due to having NOT ACTED upon something I believe I SHOULD have. In this case, clearly, I MUST ACT!
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